There are easier ways to show that you enjoyed your crowded childhood, ya  know.

For starters, kids are unimaginably expensive moneywise and six would put a lot of mileage on your body. Even if you had them all at once (or twice), you’d quite possibly have to get  your uterus reconstructed and bolstered like an old building in Venice.

On top of that, your general physical and mental health will be harder to maintain and more important than ever. Moms of six are allowed to be ill for no more than five minutes.

remus on flickr cc

It’s in the fine print in the contract you didn’t see.

Besides, you don’t have to have six to have a crowd. The third kid gets your sanity, so by the time you have three or four you will almost certainly be bonkers and you will never, ever have a moment alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I would love to have a pack of grand-babies, but they could totally be genetically new to us and they could totally be potty trained before I meet most of them.

That said, if you just happen to wake up one day and find you are a parent of six, roll with it and do your best. You’ll do just fine.

4 Replies to “Why shouldn’t I have six kids?”

  1. You should make full disclosure! The reason you got this questions was because one of YOUR 6 kids said they wanted to replicate the environment with their wannabe family. Those of us close to you know that the kids have certainly took what little sanity you once had. Love, yer Dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m just a little skeptical reading “The third kid gets your sanity”, do you have any evidence that you were not bonkers before?

    I’d really like a graph plotting numbers of kids vs bonkers, there is a paper in there, possibly even a thesis.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent point!! I should amend that to “more bonkers” because that is not more scientific but more… inclusive. Do you know any moms of 3 or more who don’t believe in fairies or flower pot monsters and such? That was my observation, anyhow. Lala land is their only retreat!!


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