Why do I fall down so much?

Falling down a lot? Dunno. It’s not like you are running away from a monster/killer/zombie in a horror movie. At least not all the time.

If you were in a horror movie, aside from running you should also avoid casual sex, precarious ledges, roller coasters and dark stairs. Just mentioning.

Are you texting when this happens? Apparently eights of people die every year from texting while walking. People have walked off of cliffs even. It isn’t clear if that allows enough time to text “AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!!” to complete their conversation, but I sure hope so.

Are other people looking at you when this falling down stuff happens? You have had a selective kind of clumsiness for many years, ya know. Something about the little bit of extra psychic weight of having eyes on you would cause you to wobble and nearly fall when you were in kindergarten.

This could be that. Tell everyone to close their eyes and see if that helps.

At least you’re not experiencing Fear of Falling. Oh wait. We all have that.

If you really don’t want to fall so often, slow down and inhabit your body. I know, you think you already inhabit your body, but when you are thinking about getting there rather than being here it’s easy to run into things, step into sinkholes or wake up at the bottom of the ladder.

If you are feeling your steps and admiring gravity you will have fewer falls. Any old person can tell you about it.

Like every form of embarrassment, it’s going to happen more often than you like. You will fall. Most of the time, you will be okay. Maybe be ready for the times it’s less okay, just in case.

You’re welcome!!

Love,
yermom

p.s. This is updated from a ten year old post. Wow. This whole retrospective thing is very weird in a good way.

If you want to dip into some light Poe-inspired storytelling, there’s this silly book of mine: UHOOB. Readers on the big gorilla give it something like 4.6 stars. They are generous. Skip ahead to Chapter five or six, I won’t mind.

Boo Destroys Toys, Inc.

You know those scratchy things with the ball track around the perimeter for cats? Boo removed the ball. That’s not supposed to happen. I think I have to find a supplier for cat toys for TIGERS.

$4.99