In what phase of life are you? I am apparently in the phase where people exert a lot of energy to convince me they are cool. It’s extremely entertaining, because they are operating under the mistaken assumption that I am cool.

The extent to which I am not cool is the really funny part.

In their earlier phases, most people see cool where there is actually a form of broken in the aloof style. Just because someone operates with wry humor (or humour!) and doesn’t flap around in a frenzy when others see a frenzy-worthy situation, well, that isn’t evidence of anything internal at all. Literally anything could be going on inside. They could be stuffing a huge suitcase of panic to unpack ten years in the future. You simply cannot know.

Some of us are aloof because in our past the display of emotions was unsafe. In some very deep and reflexive sense we believe that showing our emotions is like putting a huge blinking target on our heads, like we’re in a video game with no instructions and an unreliable controller.

I would not admire us if I were you.

Fortunately, there is some peace to be had, however broken, aloof or uncool you are.

Peace is this moment without judgment

–Dorothy Hunt

It’s possible that someone you see as cool is actually finding some genuine peace. Maybe ask them about it instead of giving yourself grief about how uncool you currently feel.

Several people have asked me how I am staying sane this year, which is very sweet. I am not 100% sane or cool or peaceful, but I definitely have a grip on my mental health. Kinda. Pretty much.

In a very peculiar burst of recognizing that I have to get back to writing more, I am going to spend some more time here explaining exactly what I do for the benefit of my curious pals.

It will involve God stuff and swearing and cats and yoga and wine and terror, so there is literally something to offend everyone.



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Contribute to the defective pet fund!!

I had to buy a room-sized welcome mat to keep Miss Litterpaws from distributing litter hither and thither. Sure, it would be easier to sell the cat, but I’m not running that sort of economy. I am running this economy into the GROUND. Next up: an obstacle course made of whirring brushes, like a cat wash.


One Reply to “Not Cool”

  1. I don’t think of cool people as being at peace. I think of cool people as having a kind of “This is who I am, deal with it” attitude. Like Popeye. I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam. Is that peace? Maybe. I’ll have to think about that.

    There was a time when I thought you were extremely cool when you almost certainly were not feeling cool at all. Ever since then, however you may have been feeling inside, you’ve been in my mental list of cool people even when I hadn’t thought of you in a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

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