I am not a doctor, yet, but I’d be happy to offer you my hobbyist medical opinions! And with me, you know who you are dealing with! Even if I make things up, you’ll feel confident that I mean well and really, that’s as good as getting well, right?

Yes, I will look at your rash. It’s fine. I’m sure I washed my hands. I will not look with my hands, anyhow. The light in here is terrible, though.

What? A real doctor? Fine!

So, since you want an actual doctor for your medical situation, of course, I have some tips.

The simplest and most successful technique I have used is to ask a doctor I already trust,  who would you take your kids to see for that specialty? Sometimes they will recommend their golfing buddy (yes, that happened), but just because they golf that doesn’t mean they can’t pull your teeth or fix your foot problem with tremendous efficiency and pizzazz.

If you don’t have a starting doctor and you are fortunate enough to have some form of insurance or health cooperative of another kind, start there. Just because a doctor did their paperwork to join the group, that doesn’t mean they are the right doctor, but it usually indicates that they are a real person with credentials and the ability to fill in forms. Nothing to sneeze at!

So, now what? How far are you willing to travel to see this doctor? If money and time are no object, you can search for the specialist that teaches the other specialists how to look at rashes like yours. That would suggest that you already know what kind of rash you have and then maybe you don’t have to go utterly bonkers on this. In that case, let’s start with someone local, smartypants.

Would you prefer a woman doctor? If so, you’ll have more choices because those lady doctors are collecting most of the diplomas these days. I’ve had good and bad experiences with nearly every variety of doctor, but if you are squeamish about showing your rash to a manly person, you are allowed to feel that way and choose accordingly.

Where technical and tricky situations are involved, I prefer newer graduates. Older doctors will usually stay current, but they have a lot of information to replace, and the longer they have practiced the more difficult it can be to get them to put down the leeches. Don’t get me wrong, the newbies have their blind spots too, but when it comes to a choice between lasers and lobotomies, I’m going with the lasers.

Now when you call–and you should call their office–if the staff is not efficient and friendly, you may want to keep calling the next doctor on your list. Even if she is the most magnificently talented doctor around, if her staff can’t figure out the schedule or the communications, you aren’t going to get consistently good care.

I know, I know. The above sounds really discriminatory, but we are talking about choosing a doctor for you and your rash.

You may follow all of my advice and still have a disappointing experience. Maybe you’ll get lost on the way to the appointment or you’ll get there and have the doctor yell at you for being late (yes, that happened) or complain that your situation isn’t interesting enough (also really happened).

If it goes poorly, try again. Nobody has a perfect record; by that I mean your record, not theirs. Don’t give a random, cranky doctor another chance. They should be on their best behavior with you as a new patient and if they get weird and sarcastic about your rash, don’t assume that’s what you are paying for.

If you just want someone to get weird and sarcastic, I’m right here, and I’m free!


p.s. Don’t scratch
p.p.s. Don’t forget to be grateful you have doctor choices when you do.

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Feel free to add a question below in the comments!!


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She needs it. You know she does.



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