askyermom

What should I do if I hate my thighs?

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If you are spending your energy hating parts of your body, you are really missing the point.

Having a body is great.

There again, I understand what you’re saying. I hate my pinkies. won’t even show a picture because it’s too upsetting. The nails are tiny, freakishly tiny. On top of that, they don’t sit straight in line with my finger bones, but are cattywampus. (I tried googling around to disprove the notion that they are, in fact, way beyond the usual, and I will just recommend you do not do that. I didn’t find a single photo that represents my weirdness, but instead many, many upsetting fingernail situations. I also learned that “nail bed envy” is a thing that people write about, and I am not proud to be among them).

People with perfect whatevers are not happier because of it. They are wishing for peace of mind or more kittens or something else. Just ask them.

Find something you treasure about your body. Maybe you like the way it feels when you stretch your arms overhead and the way it makes you yawn.

Ha. Are you yawning now? I am.

Perhaps the curve of your ankle pleases you more than most curves. Does it feel pleasant when you rub your neck with cold hands? Your own cold hands, I mean, of course.

I have a three-step prescription for those times you hate your body or body parts.

  1. Every time you have a critical thought about your thighs, think of at least two other things you treasure. C’mon, you know there’s some things you like. Do your pinkies really deserve harsh judgment? If you can’t think of anything you treasure, then just find something you don’t hate.
  2. Realize again that this is all nonsense.
  3. Take a deep breath, if you can, and be grateful that you can.

This is the primary purpose of meditation, I have decided. Breathe and celebrate being a live person for one more breath.

Once you soften your hatred, be glad you didn’t get your whatever-body-part modified. Don’t get me wrong, surgery is great when you need it. If it will save your life or make it possible for you to move around better by having that twin removed from your back, of course you should do it. What you want to avoid is elective surgery, in my opinion.

By wearing your non-standard or non-ideal body (whatever that may mean) you have a chance to provide real encouragement to tiny versions of other people. Imagine the joy of a young kid who looked like Barbra Streisand in the 1960s–or Barbara Stanwyck in the 1940s or Barbara Jordan in her 30s–to see someone who looked like them kicking ass at life.

barbs
BARBS!! Barbra by Al Ravenna, World Telegram staff photographer. Jordan: a hero courtesy of Corbis, obvs. Stanwick was a more standard beauty and also a big ol’ lesbian at the same time.

Sure, it’s all vanity of one kind or another, but why not do the kind thing for your kind. How many heroines have had thunder thighs that saved lives? LOTS!! Honor them!!

Consider leaving your funny nose and crooked teeth alone if it’s not a matter of health.

Even after birthing lots of people, I haven’t found anyone to share my pinkies with, but that day will come and that little wampus pinky kid will be a little less alone in the world.

Go be you and be as real as you dare.

Love,
yermom

Blinky book link: Book info!!

 

 

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