I have a dead car battery, Mom.

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grown kids, teen kids

This is like playing Jeopardy, you remember, the question needs to be in the form of a question: What should I do about a dead car battery?

Luckily, I have some non-specific pointers!! If you have no patience for me, ask yerdad!!

First of all, put on your safety goggles. I don’t mean that you should literally wear safety goggles, but rather, take a safety-minded viewpoint of your situation. Make sure you are out of traffic, in a well-lit, level spot near a supply of jumper cables.

Secondly, be grateful that you have a car. I know, I know, but seriously, most people do not have this problem, simply because they don’t have a car in the first place. Don’t get too far into an existential contemplation, however, because your car is not going to fix itself.

If your car is electric, get a really long charging cord or simply give up and have it towed by a real car.

Assuming this is a jump-start situation and you have cables, all you need is the ability to open your hood [or bonnet] and safety connect the cables between your dead battery and another live battery.

Wait, you also need a live battery. Employ your figurative safety goggles while eliciting help from a stranger with a working car.

Most people who have performed road-side assistance cannot be stopped from offering it to others, at least in my experience. You may not realize that there are two or three semi-professional auto mechanics nearby at any given time, until you have this type of problem and then *BOOP* there they are.

I once had a car die in the middle of the city in the middle of the night and mechanically-inclined people still appeared, like magical rescue fairies. Your mileage may vary.

If no one with experience is around, cautious confidence will do. Use your amazing research device to look up safe jump starts, and give the actual safety goggles to the person doing the jump. Once it’s running, take the car directly to your trusty mechanic to verify that all systems are go.

Batteries deserve your respect and they are also full of acid, like aliens, so really, they deserve double respect.

Once you do a jump-start or two, you may consider yourself a magical rescue fairy. Feel free to do so.

Love,
yermom

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