askyermom

,

What happens when you step on a frog

Waitaminute–didn’t you dissect a frog not too long ago? Do you remember that heavy-duty shell that they have? No? Good, because if it had a sturdy shell, you were examining a turtle and no one told you. The turtle has a marvelous defense against human feet, but the frog does not. If you do indeed step…

askyermom
2–3 minutes
, ,

Waitaminute–didn’t you dissect a frog not too long ago? Do you remember that heavy-duty shell that they have? No? Good, because if it had a sturdy shell, you were examining a turtle and no one told you.

The turtle has a marvelous defense against human feet, but the frog does not. If you do indeed step on the frog, its only hope is that you are very, very small.

splat city

A frog (or a toad, which is a type of frog) may have a chance to evade your pounding feet if it is not too cold and if it jumps in the correct direction fast enough. It would be very serious if you stepped right on it on a hard surface. The frog might have a chance in a soft mud puddle if you instantly shifted your weight, realizing your misstep.

Possibly there are some tiny tree frogs that could use their tongue to get away, but it’s better not to imagine that situation because it would probably also involve poison and a jungle emergency scenario.

The short answer is that nothing good will happen to the frog if you step on it.

It will not magically shape shift its way out from under your feet like a cat and vanish into the next room leaving a horrible Doppler screech. It will not make a gurglesy dog yelp and then apologize with its eyes.

It will not hold a grudge, but it will probably just be a puddle of former frog.

Try to avoid stepping on them–they need all the mercy they can get.

Love,
yermom

Update: Some readers have landed here looking for information on the idiom stepped on a frog. That is one in a long list of fabulous euphemisms for farting. My favorites are:

  • Petarade: a festive term for a series of cascading farts
  • Floating an air biscuit: a magical term for a fart
  • Butt trumpet: suitable for a parade, also
  • Let one rip: so freeing!
  • Carpet bombing: not festive, stink required
  • Tooting: just the cutest

Feel free to add yours in the comments!!

Further, further reading:

Undertakers&Harlots-Web

My novel is available in print, but the electronic version is instant gratification!! There’s a forty-page free preview if you click on the look inside doohickey, which looks like this:  look inside

Happy reading!! I look forward to hearing from you!!

Coupons are available to bring the cost of the kindle version down to the reasonable level of… free!!

If you need one, just reply here.

8 responses to “What happens when you step on a frog”

  1. Bubs Harangozo Avatar
    Bubs Harangozo

    I take it that you’ve stepped on a frog or 2 before?
    You definitely know it’s happened, when you hear that loud popping splatter, as you practically slid on his squishy body, like a banana peel .
    I felt a kind of bad about it, but at the same time, felt very powerful knowing that almost any little critter that i step on, has almost zero chance of surviving.

    BTW I’ve stepped on 2 only frog’s, and 1 toad-(that I know of) in my entire life, and all 3 were squished flat.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. askyermom Avatar
      askyermom

      Thanks for the colorful explanation!! I wrote this for one of my kids who was distressed about having stepped on a frog. I didn’t want to give any false hope, but I think avoiding the whole thing is the best strategy. Why this particular answer gets so much traffic is a real mystery…

      Like

      Reply
      1. Jordan G Avatar
        Jordan G

        Yeah probably dozens and dozens barefoot the apartment complex I lived in had a large pond between my apartment the laundry room and the rec center where yoga classes were held, seeing as how you don’t where shoes doing yoga I would walk there barefoot during heavy rains the frogs would be hopping about and with the area being poorly lit it was a regular occurrence stepping on them barefoot a little gross at first but after the first few it wasn’t that bad the other person was correct they really to go splat and squirt between your toes, but its not really that bad far more would’ve been flattened if I drove my car over there instead, so I guess I was probably doing the frogs a favor by stepping on them instead 🙂

        Like

  2. Dogman Avatar
    Dogman

    I have been trying to figure out why frogs pop when you step on them I accidentally stepped on a frog once and it was the worst thing of my whole life I felt like science might make me feel better instead I feel like I found a mystery this is one of the strangest texts I have ever read I love it so much I cannot Wait to read the rest of everything you’ve ever wrote

    Like

    Reply
  3. PolarBear Avatar
    PolarBear

    Man, I just want to know the frog will survive, I’ve almost stepped on one (literally stepped near the frog) lucky me and him the step wasn’t on his back

    Like

    Reply
  4. Bri Avatar
    Bri

    bro i’m so sad 😭 i stepped on something and like ran bc it was something squishy and when i came back i noticed it was a frog/toad. It was slowly limping away and i feel so bad.. it was very dark and i didn’t see them.

    Like

    Reply
    1. askyermom Avatar
      askyermom

      I’m sorry for you and the toad!! We can’t do much of anything without destroying something. Maybe in the future you can help a toad cross a road 😉

      Like

      Reply
  5. goawayfrogs Avatar
    goawayfrogs

    i just stepped on a frog, but i was wearing flats and lifted when i felt it. it hopped off my balcony right after, about a 7ft drop. was still hopping around, but i doubt it’s going to make it, because.. i freaking stepped on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a reply to Dogman Cancel reply

Trending