Maybe you should be judgmental.
“Being judgmental” suggests that there’s a rush to be critically negative. Most of the time that isn’t a desirable approach, for you or the judged. Still, there are times when you really should judge.
I know, it can be hard to judge when you should judge.
You know how you have that one friend who hates everything? That friend can be very handy, because sometimes promptly hating things is the best response.
By hating things so broadly, that friend is going to severely limit their experiences. Just like a person trying to survive eating nothing but oatmeal cookies, they may never have to suffer the abomination of rhubarb yogurt. Because of that, they will also never know what it is to survive a singularity of sourness.
That’s not everyone’s idea of missing out, but your brother would be bereft if super sour wasn’t on the taste spectrum.
Anyhoo, if you are generally accepting and not critical, having a buddy who can jump into their judgmental suit can be important to keep you from putting up with things you really should object to.
It may be belaboring the obvious to point this out, but like so many irritating things, judgmental tendencies have a proper place.
Lying is terrible, until you need someone to lie about the rescue cat secretly living in your dorm. That particular lie could save Stinkyfred from a dark, uncertain, stinky fate.
Likewise, being judgmental can be very important to your safety and well being.
Maybe you should not take advice on your financial plans from that gal who talks super fast and wears shoes that belonged to a hobo. Making that snap judgement might save you a bunch of time and money.
Judgment is a tool, but it’s not the only tool. I suggest you use judgmental tendencies sparingly. Like a chainsaw.
You wouldn’t use a chainsaw to cut your birthday cake or open a car door, right?
Right??
You’ll get the hang of it.
Love,
yermom
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