What are some advantages of being fat?

1 comment
all kids

Keep in mind that being fat is never all bad.  Our bodies want to be fat, and that’s one big reason diets are so hard.

Here are my top eleven “fatvantages”:

  1. Being fat provides an early warning of any structural problems–for your personal structure and for floors and furniture, too.
  2. Boobs!! Everyone loves boobs. As long as they don’t hurt, the more the better.
  3. Actually boobs count for two. Boobs!!
  4. Doing anything gracefully is very surprising to onlookers.
  5. Being bigger makes you harder to ignore, particularly if you favor bright colors. People will stop crashing into you once you are sufficiently fat.
  6. You can be healthy and fat at the same time. Really.
  7. Jiggling is hilarious in every language. Even if you are crying, your jiggling will make someone smile.
  8. If you get fat enough, you will become a flotation device–safety and pure joy in the swimming pool.
  9. You will have the perfect excuse to get professional pedicures.
  10. A fat person can be the last survivor of a wreck. Those stories never end with a couple of skinny people eating a fat person.
  11. Fat is fun. It is entirely possible to enjoy your fat. Don’t call it curves, but say things like:

EMBRACE MY BLUBBER, TINY HUMAN!!

Feel free to add to the list below. Your sister already added Hibernation, which is a beauty!!

Go forth and enjoy your blubber, my blubbs!!

Love,
yermom

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