A decision matrix.

gun: requires a license most everywhere
banana: requires no license for a single unit of banana
gun: can be brandished to ward off assailants
banana: can be brandished to baffle assailants
gun: can be thrown at attackers
banana: can also be thrown at attackers
gun: tastes like oil, (supposedly)
banana: tastes nothing like oil, unless soaked in oil
gun: cannot serve as an emergency snack (in other than the darkest metaphor)
banana: can serve as an emergency snack, loaded with potassium
gun: heavy and may require a holster
banana: not heavy, may require throwing away
other snacks in its proximity
gun: may suggest to others “you are not happy to see me”
banana: well, you know.
The choice is yours.
Love,
yermom
banana: ammo can be acquired at any local grocery store, in bunches.
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gun: ammo is never un-ripe, but can be rotten
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