Why shouldn’t we blow up a mailbox?

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It may surprise you, but prison is one reason. I’m not talking about post office jail or supermarket jail, either. Actual Federal prison is what I’m casually mentioning as one potential consequence of blowing up a mailbox.

our mailbox right now
our mailbox right now

Also, explosions are unpredictable and can kill, maim and “accidentally” shred nearby objects. So, potentially killing people and things is a pretty good deterrent too, right?

Are you still listening?

On top of that mailbox explosions can cause fires, and not just in Brainerd. So if you blow up a mailbox that starts a fire you could then be responsible for grass murder and microscopic mayhem at the very least.

We had heard that some scoundrelly kids blew up some of the neighbors’ mailboxes, but I was still surprised to see that we were hit too.

I should have known. They’ve bashed it, detached it and never managed to dent this mailbox. What it ever did to piss off those kids, I can’t imagine.

Just be careful out there and remember: I know how to get your fingerprints.


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