What do I do when my best friend is driving me crazy?

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You have already forgotten how many times I have solved this for you before?

The reason your best friend is driving you nuts is the key. If your friend didn’t matter you wouldn’t get past annoyed all the way to crazy, berzerk, frickin flippin out, or whathaveyou.

not every parenting strategy can claim to be Hitchcockian

The solution, you may recall, is Twin Time.

Just like when you and your sisters were smaller and you would fight for no reason and I would finally have had enough of the shrieking and wacky accusations like, “she’s pointing her lip at me!!” — Twin Time will fix you right up.

It really did work.  In fact, I’m thinking I should have used it more in other situations.  Somebody should have known about it for your aunt and I.

The inspiration was some teevee show I watched with horribly attached conjoined twins — horribly attached in that they had no surgical alternative without one of them dying or losing a vital organ and then dying, etc.

It occurred to me that they would have to like each other or at the very least forget to dislike each other if they were going to get anything done.

So it seemed like a worthy experiment to tie two of you together firmly and insist that you cooperate on something two-handed like brushing all your teeth.

It was amazingly effective — after one or two rounds the threat of Twin Time was enough to get y’all to knock it off and play nice.

So have your buddy over. I have rope!!

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