askyermom

I am not having a dark night of the soul, but I would call it a dark brunch of the soul. I’m having the sort of bad dreams where babies are in peril and mysteries remain unsolved. In one dream, a woman threatened to kill me and I said, “Really? Lethal injection? Are you a veterinarian? She said she was indeed a veterinarian. I woke up laughing.

There’s an emotional charge to the information I recieve most of the time these days. The news is not neutral, the weather is infuriating and the traffic just has used up all my bad words.

I have found a few comforting sources and some odd choices. Before I sleep, I read gentle old novels. In the evenings, I am watching one episode of Dawson’s Creek, followed by one episode of Schitt$ Creek. Other actors have died recently, but I don’t have room in the queue and I won’t include another show with dead bodies or tortured women no matter how gnarly and authentic their accents.

I never saw Dawson’s before. It has a pretty sweetness but is not syrupy. Of course, it’s not my generation. In fact, I only remember Van Der Beek from “Don’t Trust the B.” He was delightful.

Basically, I am a sucker for small town, small drama stuff with boats and usually water. I hope they get to solve a crime at some point, but I’m down for whatever as long as it’s not a murder of a girl who just wanted to have fun.

I hope Katie is happy now.

How to seque from sentiment to religion to politics? I also hope Katie is not a fascist, I guess.

Anyhoo, my goals now include creating community connections through gifts of my time and energy. There’s no need to villainize anyone, as the villains are doing a great job on their own.

Getting and spreading good information takes a lot of work and it seems to have become my new baseline somehow. I check and sometimes read a couple of newspapers, newsletters, comedians and discussion groups and if I’m feeling none too flooded, I listen to NPR and the local conservative news station on my drive home. My aim is diversity, not specialized news.

People say, I can’t take in any more of this awful news, and I get it. I have had to take some breaks to let my heart rest a bit, but just a bit. We have a responsibility to keep informed and work in our own sphere.

None of us have the luxury of looking away. It’s choosing darkness to do so. Looking only inward for any length of time is saying that you don’t care about our companions in this brief life. We need each other and the Earth needs us to pay attention and to care for it at our full capacity.

I am boycotting the most predatory companies in a systematic and serious way. “It’s too hard,” more than one someone said to me recently. I just looked back, confirming the lie I heard. I wouldn’t do anything that is too hard. Boycotting is a process. I consider purchases. Do I need it? Can I get it from the manufacturer? Does anyone make it locally? All this costs me is a little bit, and I do mean little bit, of time.

If I need something from the hardware store, I get it from the employee-owned Ace in Waverly. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Being detained in a for-profit jail for your looks or location is also inconvenient. I travel extra distance to use a small pharmacy that never cranked out poison to its community. The little shops also have much better customer service than the conglomerate places. I’m not done yet. I’m planning to fire my cable company and re-think my phone set up. It’s simple as thinking about how you feel about Sweden before you walk into Ikea. You know you do it anyway.

I’m done allowing corporate mosquitos to slurp up my assets whenever it suits them. It feels great to drive past stamped-out sweatshops to deal instead with a neighborhood business where employees are respected and people will help you get what you need instead of telling you what you want.

Excuse me while I finish my order of a foot massager. It was probably manufactured in China and it will remind me that nobody is perfect every time I have a robotic foot massage.

Not everyone has options and greedy creeps are doing all they can to squash the little guys, but if everyone who can make choices put their time and money and energy toward love and care it would make an amazing shift.

When money gets too much focus we are all sicker and poorer for it. When we open our hearts to other hearts we can all heal together.

Love,
yermom

Do you have a source you feel really good about? A farm share? A candle maker? I have a need for a small wood wick soy candle company. Okay. I don’t need it, but I want one. Instead of saving time at some big box, maybe detour to a little gift store instead. Buy a mug made by a local artist that looks like a fox instead of having your coffee out of a promotional mug from a conference you didn’t even attend. Relish that shit!! Report back!! Also, you can buy my book, Don’t Eat Your Children!! Word is that it is on Hoopla, although I can’t tell because my library doesn’t use the Hoopla book section. Let me know if you can borrow it!!