askyermom

We had new incident here at the house. At first I thought it was another sign that this geriatric cat is becoming even more eccentric. I was mistaken.

Boo now shows very little sign of her advanced age at a glance. She is permanently dusty, which is not new, and grooms herself indifferently, which is also not new. She has deep black fur that clumps as soon as any combing stops, and if anything is most changed it is that she is clumpier than ever before. We try to help her with that. She has one very, very long whisker which is white and one more normal white whisker, while all the others are ordinary black whiskers that cannot slam a door or doing anything exceptional.

Mostly she sleeps by a warm vent, curled up with her chin in the air and one ear hidden away. It makes her look dead, but cute. She is entirely deaf now. I used to think it was stubbornness, but now I realize I cannot remember the last time her ears rotated back to evaluate a sound. I talk to her anyway, forgetting it is only for my benefit.

After a very long day, I came home to find that my thermostat had gone rogue and decided to turn itself way down. I opted for blasting the heater and a hot cup of tea while I waited for the upstairs to become more habitable. The new calming tea I had on hand seemed exactly right, so that’s what I made. I burrowed into a cover on the couch and set the tea on top of my book pile, all of which is very normal and routine. Boo jumped on top of me to allow for some petting, which is also very normal and routine. The dog tolerates this but doesn’t love her method of inserting herself into lap land.

She displayed an interest in my tea cup, and batted at the dangling paper tag for the tea bag. So weird. I scolded her. She didn’t react, of course, because she can’t hear me. I repositioned and the dog ran away, sensing that this was not the usual lap animal rodeo. Boo then nosed at at the tea cup, despite the heat. I think I said something else useless before she flat out attacked the cup and pulled it onto the couch, splashing hot tea on the books and everything else in the area. Tofu the dog would have said, “Told you so,” if he could have said anything.

I was furious. Both of them have been acting up since I have been home too much and then gone again in the cold weather. I threw the cover in the wash and mopped off the books and spread them out on the dining table to dry and then put a towel on the couch. A bit later I heard a very loud thud. Boo had rammed one of the books off the table onto the floor. This is one of her more rare tricks. She will decide that some object belongs on the floor from time to time, but books are an unusual target.

The book was “The Dark Side of Camelot.” Seems appropriate.

A bit later an even more alarming thud and clatter came from the kitchen. She had knocked the tea cup into the sink and was nuzzling the tea bag in a very unseemly way. Then I understood my error.

I checked the box of tea and sure enough, catnip is one of the ingredients in the tea. She wobbled at me, so stoned. She was absolved from all damages. After all, she didn’t buy or make the tea.

So, yeah, the cup is broken and I didn’t get my hot drink, and the next morning she had mauled the towel on the couch and made herself a new messy nest.

If I want calming tea, I have to be prepared to start a cat riot.

Love,
yermom

My latest book, Don’t Eat Your Children, is available at most retailers for download or mail order. Try this independent site: Bookshop.org. If you subscribe to my newsletter or my substack, you will rest easy in the knowledge your are supporting a writer who needs encouragement most of all.