askyermom

This idea danced across my thought ticker this morning and I liked it, so I’ll share.

It’s weird to have a sudden vivid television memory. I’m not going to research and validate it, but it would hilarious if it’s wrong, so maybe I will and will link after. (Nope. I can’t find a clip of it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist somewhere).

My recollection is of a scene in the Mary Tyler Moore Show, arguably one of the best comedy shows of its era. If you don’t know it, it’s sufficient to say it was deeply funny, loaded with goofy humanity and featured a single career woman at the hub of the action.

In the scene, Mary’s friend Rhoda is lectured by a car mechanic. “Why can’t you be more like Mary?” he asks. Rhoda’s car is in the shop for catching fire or some other catastrophe, while Mary’s car is in the shop for routine maintenance, so something more like fire prevention.

There are many instances like this, where Rhoda is humiliated for being a hectic and overwhelmed person. She has big feelings and big problems, while Mary is contained and controlled and keeps her emotional life neatly tucked in its place. It’s always mined for tremendous humor when Mary’s emotions escape their playpen. I don’t think it would be funny to see Rhoda in perfect control unless you were certain she’s going to lose it shortly.

Anyway, the thought I had was maybe it’s especially unfair to suggest Rhoda be more like Mary. Mary has the benefit of time and space to plan and pay attention to details, while Rhoda is surviving with style. It is not even possible for Rhoda to be more like Mary, and she’s already as Mary as she can possibly be. (This is all totally aside from the relative value or folly of being someone you are not).

Her life would be easier if she were more like Mary, but maybe she would be more like Mary if her life were easier.

Today’s advice: be yourself, be generous and don’t let the bastards get you down.

Love,
yermom

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