askyermom

I’m not inclined to get political in my entries, but I do like to understand and explain things, so naturally, I have some observations about the American Uproar and one small slice of it.

I have been listening to people complain and sneer about “wokeness” for many years now. Originally, complaints were always from people who felt whiny about being forbidden to use slurs, the same people who used to complain about the limits of political correctness. This seems to me a really weird complaint. I think the more interesting question is why do you want to use slurs? Why would anyone want to?

More broadly, why would anyone passionately desire to use slurs and insult other people? Let me adjust that: Why would any sober, clear thinking person have a passionate desire to slur people?

After minutes of deliberation, I have no answer. Free speech is not sufficient. Free speech makes slurs available for comedy and entertainment purposes. In that situation, you are free to use slurs, but would you be willing to fight for their use? I think of Lenny Bruce in that instance. (While he was arrested for profanity and championed free speech in the process, we must remember he was also arrested for impersonating a priest in a scam and was barred from the entire United Kingdom for general bad behavior).

Before and after that era, fines were imposed for banned words used in broadcasting. How much would you pay to use a slur? Would you pay any price if you were thinking clearly? Couldn’t you cook up an acceptable and free way to communicate your thoughts?

But I’m angry is no justification. Anger is a cause for slurs, but it’s not a good reason to use harmful language, is it? If anger justified any verbal behavior, then anger could be used as a reason to verbally attack anyone at any time.

Is that the way we want to live with other people? Where angry people are entitled to use slurs freely in service of their anger with no social penalty? When I found myself on such a bus, the first thing I did was get off the bus. Correction: the second thing I did was get off the bus. The first thing was to complain about the verbal abuse.

Using slurs is an attention-getting tactic as any toddler can attest. We tell our kids that they cannot call their brother doo-doo head and we try to demonstrate restraint on name calling, except possibly while driving. When they begin to experiment with slurs, it’s incredibly hard not to laugh and accidentally reward a child who is trying their first slurs (baby’s first slurs are always very funny), but if we can hold steady they will move along with their development seeing slurs as the social dead end they are.

Listening for slurs is instructive. It tells you that the person is angry, seeking attention, attempting comedy or drunk. Underneath all that, the person is likely afraid. Fear causes most of our anger, comedy and drunkenness, after all.

Anyhoo, just a few thoughts on why it’s a good idea not to be a doo-doo head using slurs like it does anything other than announce your doo-doo headedness.

The real question about American anger right now is: Why exactly is everyone so angry? Pointing at various other people doesn’t adequately explain it. My current theory is that we are all angry at unfairness. Rich companies sip at our bank accounts while powerful packs pocket our freedoms.

Let’s remember to be angry at them instead of slurring on each other.

Love,
yermom

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