askyermom

Something shifts in people’s minds when they have enough money. They forget what it is to have too little money. I’m sure I don’t know what will help with this effect, but I have felt it myself–in both directions–and I see it in action plenty.

A chunk of unexpected cash for people with enough money means they can do something silly and just enjoy that little dose of extra freedom, while for the people who have less than enough money, it means they can relax, just a little bit. Maybe the next repair won’t be as scary or they can make the last three payments on that phone they bought two years ago. Maybe they can even do something silly without feeling much regret.

I would like to forget some of the conversations I have had with people wearing poverty blinders. It’ll happen. One day I will forget. I probably store that data in the same zone of my brain that lets me effortlessly call up the name Jared Leto. Why is it there? Who cares?? Not even Jared Leto!!

Some day in a hot game of trivia: Who played a mute heartthrob in a 1990s television family drama series starring Claire Danes… Jaren Leto!! Shit. Why can I also remember Claire Danes? Why is that name in there? I’d rather remember the nice lady I met who teaches watercolors–I mean she teaches people to use watercolors, because you can’t teach anything to watercolors. Her name is definitely not Claire Danes.

Anyhoo. I remember talking about charitable giving with another nice lady, who is also not named Claire. Notclaire said, “I have found that when I give 10% of my income to the church, I don’t get flat tires and such.”

All I could say in reply was, “Huh.” Tithing for tires was not something I had considered.

There’s no point in arguing with Notclaire. She has a nice husband and a team of nice friends and neighbors who would change her flat tire, should it have the nerve to happen to her. Perhaps Notclaire has never been in the pickle of having too little money to meet her expenses, to have to play a weird game of chicken with shoes that are wearing thin and a squeaky budget that slides into the red with every tiny calamity.

If she has never experienced it, I can forgive her and if she has experienced it and forgotten it, I can still forgive her, I guess. It’s just that people making decisions about how to share wealth seem to be the people who have the wealth and have possibly always had plenty of it.

Before you get all irritated with my commie chit chat, let me interrupt myself. Sharing wealth is not an aberration among people. One of the first things people do when they have a sudden influx of cash is give some of it away. Ball players who sign a big contract buy their mom a house. Supreme court justices who start taking bribes make sure their mom’s mortgage gets paid off in the first batch. Lottery winners make gifts to their whole town.

Do people give away money because sudden excess makes them uncomfortable? Maybe! Do they do stupid things with their overnight windfalls? Definitely!

People give money but money-making enterprises resist giving money away. It has to be called an investment, a thing that will garner them more money in the future. Insurance companies will pay for preventative care in just this sort of calculation. It’s not about making you happy or healthy as much as protecting their investment to avoid paying for your controllable illnesses.

The mission to accumulate the most money is naturally working against any giving impulse. That’s just logic.

So what happens when all the smartest people are tangled up with profit centers and money-making endeavors? At the very least, fewer smart people are focused on correcting the effects of greed if they are preoccupied with their own greed.

It’s encouraging when we hear about massive philanthropy from various excessively rich people. Maybe they will genuinely strive to sprinkle their wealth in a helpful way. Maybe they will actually ask some poor smart people how to do it without causing harm.

This is not to say that it’s impossible for wealthy people to give wealth responsibly and do genuine good. It’s just harder for them to see what’s really going on. They may lean into excuses or reasons not to be generous which somehow line up with their sense of deserving what they have. They are battling some powerful human nature of feathering their own nest, which never really stops until there are no more feathers. Humans don’t nest, but you understand what I mean.

Some of us are so busy feathering we don’t realize that we are objectively wealthy; we’re not middle class anymore, if there even is such a thing in America any longer. When does this happen? With the second car? the second house? the second we don’t sweat a flat tire?

The wealthy believe they deserve their wealth. They worked hard, they say. Guess what? Everyone works hard. It’s inescapable. I know, you know that one guy, Jerry, who doesn’t do anything, but even Jerry has to work at being that lazy and enjoying it. Anyone I have known that had real leisure also had real problems. Retirees work hard at keeping the medical industrial complex in business, and so on.

Begrudging other people’s spare time is a terrible hobby, anyway.

So, while wealthy people may struggle with finding ways to bestow their wealth that are not doing any harm, smart poor people are nearby watching with disappointment that they have to keep saying: safety, jobs, food, therapy, community, maybe anything besides protecting money.

I know, being someone who has spent most of my life not-wealthy, we learn to make money decisions with tremendous care, because when you’re poor, one wrong move can be impossible to correct. Jared Leto may never understand this problem, but the safety net for poor people is more of an idea than an actual net full of holes. This is why you see more homeless people in America. The people haven’t changed, but the poverty slide is getting more efficient, optimized even.

Some of us can’t tithe. Some of us still cause people to recoil in surprise when we speak our income. Keep talking about it. Pride comes before a bankruptcy.

Love,
yermom

This is the place where I link to book info (4.3 stars! better than good!) and book status info which needs an update of its own. Don’t Eat Your Children might cross the finish line in 2023, but Harlot’s Last Laugh definitely will not.

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