askyermom

This is a very personal decision, so I have a very personal answer. As with the best personal answers, this is going to get gross.

People have put oil on their skin for actual ages, but before you consider that as a safety endorsement, remember how that worked out for them. Ancient people didn’t live very long on average. Maybe our forgetting to bathe in Oil of Baloney is the real reason we live longer.

When I did a woo-woo self massage ritual with coconut oil, I was mostly worried about sliding across the tile, cartoon style, and winding up in the emergency room.

The danger is real: I am the only person I know who has a permanent massage injury, so this was a big part of the incentive to attempt a self massage. Having learned my lesson, I can either drive three hours for someone who has proven I can trust them not to wrench my joints or I can go with the DIY model.

Anyhoo, the type of oil you put on your skin is important, I guess.

Our skin does absorb fat-soluble molecules, according to the Science Vs podcast, so it seems important to not coat your skin in poison-tinged oil.

In my experiment, I was able to safely remove most of the coconut oil and I left the residue as instructed, rather than soaping up and removing it completely. The only minor downside was smelling of coconut for the rest of the day. This did not attract bugs or repel the pets, so it seemed fine.

It was not fine. The next day I had to call the zoo, because I was crapping baby sea lions.

Had I read any of the materials about using topical oils to excess, I would have learned of the laxative effects. Because I hadn’t read any of that, I assumed I was dying. I had never experienced anything of the kind and I have had some experiences.

At this point I should apologize for the potty humor. It’s my second least favorite type of humor and I’m treating it to the center ring, but only out of necessity.

Shit happened.

As only a near-genius and not an actual genius, it took me nearly a week to recognize that I had greased my own guts and had not had sudden onset mystery bowel disease.

The only way to be certain of the connection would be a repeat experiment of course. That requires a free weekend, so it’s highly unlikely within the length of time it will take for me to forget the entire episode.

You can try, though. Maybe dabble in pure olive oil, virgin only please, and report back.

Good Luck!!

Love,
yermom

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